Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
