You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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