Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
