apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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Just pee around me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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