I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
