literally had 100 drinks last night.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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