i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
