I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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