Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
