When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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