I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
