Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize