And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
