Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
