It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
