Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
