We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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