Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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