she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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