She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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