You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
