There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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