He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
