We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
