im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
