I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
