good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize