Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
