is your mom at the bar?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I would ride that face into the sunset
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
