You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
