A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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