That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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