my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
