I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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