The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
