PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
