he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
