And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
