left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
