I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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