Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
