your room smells of hookers.
And success
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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