the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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