The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
