haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
