if only i could text you this smell
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
