im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
