Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.