I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
