just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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