CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
ttyl tear gas
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
