my shit smells like andre
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
