stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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