Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
