Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
