I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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