We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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