Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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