then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
