I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
